HOLLOWEEN

Well I didn't get to do anything for Halloween, not even dress up. So that's why I felt very "hollow" and continue to have the feeling inside.

I'm in such a weird mood lately and I feel like I'm really starting to know who I am, but of course I don't like what I'm discovering, lol. I'm avoiding school work to hang out w/people who I shouldn't be hanging out w/and all I can think about it how fucked up I wanna get. This is of course a side effect of the break up, but I didn't think I would get like this. I was going to be all on top of school this quarter now that I have more time, but instead I'm just using up my time and doing nothing b/c I don't want to face some of my "inner demons" I guess. (I just wanted to use that term b/c it was in The Lock that I was reading over break and they say that a lot, but really I just mean my challenges in school and such.)

I have this whole philosophy on how I view life and that's not what's helping me get thru this time either. I just don't see the importance in meaningless assignments that overrall lead to nothing about changing the world around us, and that's all I want to do. It's nice to have meaning in one's life, or a purpose, and I just don't feel like I have that or anyone has that for that matter and all we're doing is wasting the earth's time. Well since I've wasted a lot of whoever's time reading this, I'll end this here as I'm still avoiding my hw.

I need contact w/other people or I will shrivel up and die!