Art Institutes

Well I went to that appointment at the Art Institute of Colorado today and my very first impression was not a good one. Dad and Kellie were arguing how to get to the damn parking garage on the way and it was making my nerves on edge (not to mention they argued on where to go after we left too), and when I walked in I got this bad vibe from the stupid people at the front desk. "Here sign in and we'll call Kellie and let her know to come down to get u. Here's ur parking pass.." Sure, it doesn't sound too bad, but u weren't there. Ehh. So Kellie was nice, but I wasn't that impressed w/the school. The classrooms didn't look fit for a model to come in, even though she said they did have nude models, and they were surprisingly all white, no color, no art on them. They did have framed student's art all over the hallway walls though. The place just didn't seem right for me. I might look at housing, but Kellie (my dad's gf) said they would be pretty small if they're only 500 sq. ft.

So I think I might not even apply there at all, but I guess I still should for backup. After I got home, I got online and checked out the other art institutes in Southern CA, and I realized that the one in Orange County seems just as good as the one I previously thought was my 1st choice, AISC. It had good curriculum and is about the same price as the one in Colorado, unlike the AISC which is $20,000 more w/a total tuition of $84,000 currently, which will go up a couple more thousand by the time I'm enrolled. The one in Orange County is even closer to my aunt also, so I might just be able to walk over to her aprt., who knows. Nah, I'll prolly still drive though. I just hope I can afford the housing, b/c the housing costs at the Ai of Los Angeles was b/t $1300-1600 for a SINGLE PERSON. I don't see how anyone can afford it unless they do what my aunt said, which is the Ai tacks on that price to the tuition.

I still feel so stressed out over all this college stuff, I just hope everything works out. Why do they have to make everything come at me all at once? I haven't even had a fucking job yet in my entire life! I have to get a job next year, do two AP classes (I'm really worried about the english one) plus the senior exit project, the school is totally changing next year and seniors r going to be screwed, I have to apply for colleges and scholarships, I have to find some fucking money to get out there to CA to visit the colleges so I can get a better feel for them, I have to start preparing to make the big move, and I have to get info from Disney and other future employers I hope to work under so I know if I can actually work for them after I get out of college.

I always hate it out here. Kellie and Dad always argue over stupid shit and I wonder if they'll stay together, but then later tonight Kellie just laughed about earlier, but I can't stand being around that shit. I already deal w/enough negative energy as it is. After I was done backing up into my dad's parking space after driving over to drop off my two rolls of film I took out here, I was very tempted to just flat out tell my dad "I hate it here." But i figured it would hurt his feelings so I kept it in. After we got inside, though, the vibe had totally changed and it was a more free environment, and I didn't feel so hateful towards being here. But then I still do dislike it alot b/c of Jordan and her annoyingness, and I think I will not stay here any longer than 2 weeks anymore.

Like it will fucking matter anyway, nothing will be the same after this year. I wish life wasn't so god damn complicated. Life is meant to be happy, not stressful. I hate life. I hate myself. And I just hope I can make it in this corrupt world. I want to be free before I die.