another reason for me to feel shitty

Well I just finally realized why my Dad has not called or sent me anything for my 16th B-day. It's b/c I'm a selfish brat. I didn't even try to call him the week of his b-day or e-mail him to wish him a happy one. I wish I could have a good excuse, but even though that was the week Dave broke up w/me and I was a mess, if I was a good daughter, I could've still e-mailed him sumthing. I feel like shit! This is why I hate myself! For as much as I like to believe I care alot about other people and their feelings I still go on neglecting my own family!! God, I hate myself! I wrote an e-mail back to Kellie, my dad's gf, and told her I understand now what I did and I understand if they didn't get me anything at all for my b-day cuz I definitely do NOT deserve it. Ahhhh, why am I so stupid and self cenetered??? I'm so sick of myself!