goth music kicks ass

I really do blab too much in these things, I blab just b/c I can. Just for the fact that this site is here for me type whatever I want on. I really hurt Dave I guess, or atleast made him angry about all the stupid shit I put in my last one. I feel really bad about it, but it's resolved now. At least that is. I really didn't mean all that stuff, I just put it down as some type of therapy to help me sort thru all my feelings of abandoness, lonliness from him, and my jealosy. She got him that fucking Spongebob I wanted to get him for X-mas! God damnit, why?!!! Why does God let people shit on me? I hate stupid shit like that. Why can't she get him something else so I can do ONE THING good for him, but oh well. She had to take that too. I'm worthless to him anymore, but not really. I just feel like that when people do shit like that. Oh well nothing I can fuckin' do now, but get him a band shirt or sumthing. I wanted to get him Spongebob though... Damn her..

Oh god, I can't believe me and Eddie had sex today.. It hurt, his dick is huge, lol. It's fat. It's not really too big though. He told me he's never had a good blow job so I thought I'd show him a good one. I think he liked it better than what other girls have done, but I didn't get him off doing that b/c I didn't do it long enough. He liked it though. There's sumthing else I want to say, but this site is read by too many people... Sigh, I guess I won't, lol, god I'm dying to say it but I can't. I don't want Dave to read it and then laugh. Hah, it would be too cruel. Even though I don't have a prob w/it. So me and Eddie had a nice day alone together in my house, skipping school. The first absent day I've had. It's nice he has a car to drive over here. Everyone missed me, hehe. I know u did too, Dave.. lol. Hah, yeah right, doubt like he gives a fuck, but I know he sorta does.

Oh I got to go into detail about what else I did this weekend. I spent 3 days in a row w/Eddie, counting today. We've gotten a lot closer since then. We made out last night and today a lot, if u can call it that, it was just simple kisses, we frenched a lil' today, but I told him I didn't care for it much. Anyway, Sat. night after I talked to Dave on the phone Eddie didn't end up coming til 8:30 and I was getting pissed cuz he was an hour late. But that was b/c he picked up Brandon, Eddie, and Aaron on the way. I still told him I didn't like that. But we climbed in the back, drove to Eastfork (Aaron was our designated driver) smoked a few bowls, they had a bottle of yagemister however u spell it and they ended up drinking it all that night. It was a lot. I had a lil', but only took one hit of weed. Didn't really feel like it I guess, I don't know. I'm weird. I kinda did, but whatever. Didn't care too much for the alcohol but I could handle it. Eddie was getting a lil' fiesty in the back, we were biting each other and he was holding me close. I had fun. I didn't have to go home until 11:30. So that was cool. We went downtown Cincy too and Eddie and Brandon had to piss, but since they couldn't find an open bathroom they ended up going behind a fence. Hah, it was funny. Dude, that Aaron guy looks like he's my Uncle's son, it was fucking freaky as hell when I finally saw his face!! My crackhead uncle too. Ahhh, that made me feel weird, but I got over it. Hah, I'm a crackhead myself, what can I say? Sunday Eddie came over and hung out from like 7:00 to 9:40. We made plans to skip today then he came over today. Oh yeah, I made him horny last night as well as today too. I'm so good at that, rn't I? hehehe. So we hung out all day today and did some naughty sex stuff. I always feel weird w/a new guy. I told him I had to explore first.. hehe, but he's so damn skinny! I wish he'd get a bigger ass. He said mine was cute, I was just like yeah right. But he said it was.

Sigh, I have to get back to my work, I keep getting distracted, I'm talking to Ruby and Jeff right now. But this weekend was fun, and now I'm ready to go back to school, meet my people again, and let them see what has happened to me and get used to the Heather they will now see everyday, for it is a different one and I have not even told Dave what has happened. Nothing big yet though, but the alteration has begun....

Oh yeah, and goth music kicks ass!! I want to fuck Joey Jordinson and Marilyn Manson at the same time... Oh what fun bondage sex we could have.. I'm sure they'd love it... Ohhh... pain for pleasure baby.