sexual safety

Hmm... I have to stay up til 4:30 am so I can take the 2nd morning after pill. Yep, there's 2 u have to take. 12 hours apart and that's the time in the afternoon I took mine. I went down to Planned Parenthood today w/Janetta who I had to call and ask if she could take me. She's really cool. An old friend of my aunt Sheri and I always liked her. She lives about 30 min. away, but she was late or else I could've taken it earlier. It wasn't too bad when I was there. I was a lil' nervous at first, it being my first time in a place like that w/o my mom or anything, but Janetta was there and that comforted me a lot. I had to fill out some forms and stuff, but u don't have to have ur parents consent or signiture or anything like that. I asked about exams, diaphrams, and the pill. I didn't have an exam. I didn't need one, but I will get one soon. It costs $40 bucks. Janetta and Sheri both think I should get an exam and try to take the pill and also talk to my mom about my sex stuff going on. I said I might have to wait on that.. I will talk to her about getting the exam though cuz I should have it anyway. We asked how much the pill would be monthly and it's only $12 bucks for high school students. I think they have discounts on us b/c we're so young and they don't want us getting pregnant, lol, which is good for me cuz I definitely don't want it either. I doubt I would've gotten pregnant in the 1st place, but I knew it was good to be more sure. Cuz c'mon, his cum was in me!! lol. So anyway I think I'll be going back there soon, not the exact same one, cuz there's one closer, but then I'll get an exam.. Ugghhh.. *shudders* I hope it goes okay... Also, Janetta and I hung out at one of the malls around here for a while too and chatted about old times. It was nice. I bought Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas for only $6.99 at Media Play so she came back here and we watched it w/James and mom. It's so funny and fucked up. Hah, I love it!

Well sorry about all that pissed-off-ness guys. lol. I'm over my phase now. I get like that about a lot of people, even the ones I like and am friends with, everyonce in a while. I'm just a moody person. I guess I won't block any of u. I really only wanted to for entries where it's very personal or sumthing. Mine r already pretty personal though, lol. But there's still more I could say sumtimes. I got ur letter Andy. Haven't felt like writing back yet, but I really was "touched" by it I guess. I'm at a loss for a better word. It made me get my sense knocked into me again and leave my bitter mood. I really appreciate u taking the time to send me all that. I didn't want u to feel bad. I just... eehhhh. lol. So I think I'm ok now.

James, my stepbrother who came over to hang out again today, and I just got done watching a movie called Reliquim. It's all about this old lady and her son and their different lives and they botch have problems.. she wants to be on tv, I suppose the real reason goes sumthing like b/c she feels if she was it would be the life she wanted that she would see on tv and she was very lonely. Her son was a drug addict and he had a good gf, also messed up, but things got bad and it all turned for worse w/all of them. A sad ending, which was expected. It shows what people will do for money and/or happiness. We're so pathetic. And yet, it never stops... Our stupid American life. So sad...

Side note to Ruby: Don't think that the book I have is all gay sex cuz that might've been the only part in it like that. I'm pretty sure it still has a lot of straight sex cuz she's in it.