disappointed, but still happy

It's been a while since I last updated. Last weekend. This week has been busy since I've been trying to get my research cards done for English, my stupid art scuplture that ended up looking like crap, and studying for the history test just to be disappointed when it was very easy. I'm still not done w/my research cards, I was going to try to get them done thursday night, but then I heard they didn't have to be turned in until Monday so I decided to relax a lil' and I just worked on History notecards for the essay that we ended up choosing anyway yesterday. If we're going to choose in the first place, don't make us waste our time doing the other notecards. I'm halfway done w/my history terms for this week now and am reading the chapter extensively to know it front and back like the last one, even though I heard in art that from now on Mr.Wilson's tests will be easy ever since the principal yelled at him for having them too hard. I just want a balance. What he was doing before was gay, b/c like 4 questions wouldn't even be from that damn chapter, but the one AFTER that, and that's gay! I just want something to challenge me to show that I read it thru and know the stuff. He didn't even have ANY fill in the blanks this time and he usually has 10. Disappointed. I know I could've gotten atleast a 90 this time even if it was harder.

So this week we worked on our college resumes in the library/comp. lab for 3 days and I like mine, even though it doesn't have a million things on it like that one example guy. I wish I had more academic stuff though, but I do make honor roll all the time except for last quarter cuz of my stupid Geology class. Well enough of school.

Dave hung out last night and we had sex a lil' bit but it was a somewhat bad night for both of us in that area. We just weren't horny enough. (GASP! how could Heather not be horny?) I don't know what up's w/that. I used to be all the time and now I'm toning down. Atleast this last week I have, maybe b/c I didn't want to distract myself w/that and just think of my work. Well anyway, I still had much fun w/Dave, and we cuddled and layed around talking about his family and how they've been treating him a lot better than in the past and they beg his forgiveness for the bad way they used to treat him. I'm glad their being better but I still hate them for what they did to him. Eventually, that may change, if I become a part of his family and they're all nice to us. Dave likes my mom cuz she's always nice to him and doesn't get annoyed by him when he acts silly or stupid. He likes her cuz she's so concerned about me too and wished his mom was always like that.

We talked about us getting married again and I see it coming true in my head and I cried visualizing me walking down the aisle and seeing his beautiful, loving face looking back at me, waiting for me to join him in life forever, and I don't think I could take seeing it b/c I would prolly collasp in the aisle right after I make the turn to meet him cuz I'll get so weak in the knees and emotional from loving him so much and finally having the man of my dreams in my life. And if I made it to the front w/him, I'd prolly still be sobbing so much that I couldn't repeat after the priest tells me too cuz it will all sound like jibberish. Dave said he'd prolly cry too and everyone would prolly think we're weirdos, so I told him the hell w/a big wedding, I can't take it. Let's just have a small. Lol, but I don't really mean that. I have to have all the fanciness, I love stuff like that. Maybe every 5 years we can renew our vowels, too, and get married again. Oo, it would be fun. Maybe every 10 years though since we'll be w/each other for so long, the rest of our lives.

Well, I should be going. Have to get off soon so I can take a shower and then go out driving in the high school parking lot. Then I have to come back and work on research.