more misery

Back to that misery thing, yeah I'm in it again. Maybe I shouldn't be hurt by the past, but how do I know if he's going to hurt me again? How do I know he's not cheating on me or thinking about it? How do I know that he's not really planning to marry me, and that he'll be done w/me when I leave?

I was doing okay for a while after the last post and then I found out more news last night. I'm going to talk to Dave about it tonight but I'm already hurt and angry about it. Why does he always have to hurt me? I fucking hate him for that and if this doesn't stop, I will hate him more than I ever loved him. And that means I won't be able to be w/him anymore. Obviously.

Sigh, so we'll just see, but I have to go to work today so that sucks. I hope I don't think about it the whole time, I don't want to go anyway. I hate work. It's so dumb.

Euugghhhh. Why, why is he like that???