so happy!

Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a while. I got so happy. For one, I got to make Douchebag Dave look like a loser, for two, I got to see Matthew again since he was at Eastgate mall w/Dave, and for three, I might be getting another job working at Anderson's Pizza Hut, as a driver. Then I'll get extra money! Yay!

Dave and Ruby both got jobs at Fritsch's yesterday. Ruby called me up that morning and asked if I wanted to go job hunting w/her and I told her that actually Dave and I were going out to get job applications today so we just all went out together. I'm glad Dave gets to quit his bad job where he's prolly going to get fired anyway b/c of the assholes that work there, but he put in a two weeks notice for quitting, and now Ruby finally has a job so she can't complain anymore about not having money! Dave will work during the day as a cook and Ruby will work at night at the drive-thru. I think they will both do fine, I'm very proud of both of them.

After we were in the Anderson area, we went over to Eastgate to check out any places there, but we kinda just shopped around. Dave and I went into Hot Topic to look at earrings (he has to take his eyebrow ring out to work at Fritsch's but it's fully healed now anyway). I bought 2 16 gage hoop earrings for my ears which I needed badly, and I also bought the Metal for the Masses cd which is pretty good. Ruby just looked around w/us some, and then we headed over to Suncoast and that's when I saw Douchebag w/Matthew. At first I just saw that it was Dave kinda and I pointed at him and went "Hey look, it's Douchebag!" And of course being the coward that he is he didn't even look over and just kept walking, turning the corner w/Matthew beside him. Matthew saw me and waved and I was like "Hey Matthew!" and waved back. Then they just kept walking and we went into Suncoast. I was too jittery to do anything, I wanted to go talk to Matthew and also go harrass Dave so we got out of there in like 30 sec. and I went to go see where they went, but I figured just Hot Topic, so infact I saw Douchebag standing in there and I went in to talk to Matthew. Matthew turned around and saw me and I was like "hey, man, I haven't seen u in a while, so where do u live now?" blah blah blah, and Dave of course walked away and tried to look nonchalant as he look at the patches. I knew it was pissing him off that he came to hang out w/Matthew and Matthew was talking to me, hehehe. I love making him feel like such a loser, cuz I'm so much better than him. While Dave was just 5 or so feet away, I mentioned the thing w/me and Dave or whatever and Matthew is on my side of course, and was like "Yeah, I know he fucked u over. Did u know that he wants me now?" and all this shit and I was like "Oh, yeah, I know" and kinda laughed at him. We both did cuz Dave's such a douchebag, haha.

I want to call Matthew up today since he's staying over at Dave's for the next couple of days he said since he got off work (said he worked at Walmart now I think) and I want to see if I can get Matthew to get me that DVD remote and the connectors from Dave, lol. I also want to steal Matthew away from Dave cuz I know he likes me better than Dave, and Dave's really jealous of that connection Matthew and I had that night that Dave and I stayed over there. I just want to piss off Dave so bad, and I have really been wanting to see Matthew again. I feel a really strong attraction to him ever since that night we talked for hours and I still think he feels it for me too. I asked him if he was still going out w/Heather and thankgod! he said no, that it was just their time to end. We even made fun of Sid a lil' when I mentioned my grad. party. I was like "Yeah I was thinking of inviting Sid but-" he kinda finished me by saying "he'd just shoot up some heroin and pass out, ahhaha" and we just did the shooting up motions and laughed at him, lol. I really really like Matthew and I wish things could've worked out better for me and him. He's 10 times cooler than Dave and Sid combined. They r shit compared to him. He's so funny, nice, outgoing, cute, and also smart, and highly musically talented. I don't want to just desert Dave T. but I told Dave T. how it was b/t he and I, so he has to understand that I don't want to be tied down, that I can't be tied down right now. I am not inlove w/Dave T. I never was, I only care for him, and yes I don't mind having sex w/him. Our relationship is just really weird, we're not exactly just friends, but I can't be his gf either. I never felt a strong attraction for him like I did for Dave or Matthew. And therefore it can never grow into a deep love for him. I feel bad for him b/c I'm all he's got in the world of love, but I know he's not right for me, therefore I can't be right for him, but I know he just doesn't see it like I do.

Well I'm going to go. I got up too god damn early this morning. Partly b/c of April getting ready for work and partly b/c I had to pee, lol.