concerts r fun

It's been a while again. Lots of things have happened, and now I must summarize.

After the last entry, Matthew called me a few days later, saying how Dave was acting like a jackass cuz he wanted to leave him alone at his place to hang out w/his gf, and Matthew was staying w/him, and he tried to get my # from him so he could hang out w/me while he was gone, but I guess Dave didn't give it to him, so he went home, but then he wanted to hang out the next day, but he was having "exploratory surgery" and I ended up not hearing back from him. I tried to look for him at the Cradle concert I went to at Bogarts, but didn't see him, but at this last Type 0 Negative concert I went to, I ended up seeing him, along w/Sid who said hi to me so I knew he didn't hate me. Matthew has my # again, and he called me the day after asking if I could go to Vertigo w/him but since I'm not 18 yet I can't, so that sucks. He said he'd call me back again, but he never did yet, and I'm about to call him again, but I don't know if I should bother today. He might be at work right now, so maybe I should wait til later cuz he said the next days he has off is next Tues. and Wed. I found out thru Criss, since Dave the Douchebag has been trying to be friends w/him again out of his loneliness again, that he's inlove w/Matthew and is worried Matthew will betray him to go out w/me or fuck me, so that only makes me want to do things w/Matthew even more. Dave is a douchebag for ever thinking he could get Matthew, b/c if Matthew liked him they would've done sumthing together by now, but Douchebag is extremely threatened by me b/c I know he knows how I told him Matthew flat out told me he liked me and thought I was pretty and smart, etc, that one night that we talked, and Dave hates it, and it only makes me love the fact that I talk to Matthew even more, b/c I can get under Douchebag Dave's skin, and that fat faggot deserves it!

Dave T. and I r like bf and gf right now, but we keep getting into the same fight about how I want to start new and fresh out in CA, but I know I won't be able to, but I like Matthew alot too, so I don't know what to do about him. I know things won't ever work out w/him, or atleast not now anyway. Possibly in the future, but he just seems like one of those guys who u really want, and maybe get to go out w/and have some fun w/, but he's not the marriage type, since he's too charismatic. He likes hanging around people too much for my tastes and I know he's been shitty to Heather, his ex gf, and I wouldn't want him to think he can do that to me. I just want to meet my true love, but I do wanna fool around w/people for a while too, so I don't know what I should be wanting right now. I just want to be free.

But yeah, that Cradle concert was ok, I got a cool tour shirt that Dave bought me and I of course saw Douchebag there w/a bunch of other douchebags, but I never did anything to him, as well as at the Type 0 concert. Cradle wasn't really great though, I liked Type 0 better. I was singing along to some of the songs, and they played all the good ones. Suprisingly there was a mosh pit, but Dave and I didn't think there would be one since their music is usually slow, but they were harder in concert, and we were right next to the mosh pit so I was pressed up against all these people and jumping and dancing and screaming and singing. It was awesome. Lacuna Coil was good too, they were the only other band w/them. I wish I could've gotten a shirt of their's too, but I didn't have enough, and I had to get a Type 0 one after that great performance they did. And at this one, some people came up to us and talked to us, a couple named Jarrod and I can't remember the girl's name, but they were cool. By the end of the night we exchnaged AIMS and phone #'s and I already talked to Jarrod and I got his other friend's info too and talked to her once online. They're alright people. Dave and I talked to some people we knew too like that Nick Malasco kid from our school and I talked to Louie for a min. or so. Saw Douchebag there but didn't do anything, but Dave thinks he heard him say how he wanted to fling my can of lemonade at him and beam him right in the head, hahaha. Douchebag was just w/his stupid gf this time. Sophie went w/her bf too and I chatted w/her some but lost her before Type 0 came on. The other douchebag David C. was there too and I didn't even say hi to him even though I know he saw me and prolly knew I didn't care for him, but he told Criss online that he saw me but didn't talk to me b/c he wanted to "branch out on his own" which is bullshit. He knew I just didn't want to talk to him, haha. Dave and I talked to some other people there like Sid's friend and Sid a lil'. He was w/that girl that always gets drunk and she got in the mosh pit, and she's alright. It's just she wastes away her life drinking though. Dave and I met a drunk guy who was cool too and the other guys he was around were nice too. One guy helped protect me from the moshpit once, and I wanted to thank him for it, but didn't get a chance. I got pushed into hardcore once by this one guy though, but I didn't care. I didn't mind if I got hurt, I was having fun either way. The excitement of the crowd is what I loved most. And it's funny b/c I saw Douchebag standing right where the pit broke out before Type 0 came on, but when I looked over later, he was nowhere near, so that just shows he's a big dumb pussy who prolly hid on the sides w/his gf to protect him, lol.

April, my mom and Ralph r going to Chicago from the 14th to the 19th to see James graduate and I'm going to stay home and have parties since I can't see his ceremony anyway, so everyone, BYOB!!! I will not pay for u all to get drunk and high, sorry! lol. I'm hoping this will be another good one like my graduation one, and I'm inviting more people who I've ran into again, but I don't know who will end up coming. Jarrod and his gf don't get high or anything so I don't think they'll have fun. I really don't want Dave to be there though if Matthew comes, cuz that will be weird. I know I'll be flirting w/everyone when I'm drunk, b/c I'm a drunken whore like my mom, so ha, ya know.

Well, I'm getting tired of typing, so I think that's all I want to blab about right now.