old and new love

Dude, it's fucking 2:00 am and school is over!! I'm talking to my ex-boyfriend right now. Kinda wierd, but I want him to stay in touch. My new boyfriend, Dave, came over today and we had fun doing some interesting stuff, hehe.. God, I don't know what to think. It doesn't seem what I am doing is bad though. I care about Dave and he cares about me, a lot, maybe more than I would like, but I guess it's all cool. I feel like I'm going to have sex w/him and he feels it too, but I don't think I care anymore. Like, I'm not throwing it away, but I'm just saying he is not a bad guy to do it w/and I kinda prefer that I lose my virginity to him, unlike my ex. I knew we shouldn't do it whenever I was w/him, my mind, heart, and soul told me it wasn't right at that time, but if he would've changed, which he didn't, we could've. I care about him though, and I just wish he'd see that. He shouldn't have treated me the way he did and he should've realized how much better I was for him than any of his other girlfriends, or whores, who only shit on him. There's a lot of similarities b/t the new Dave and old Dave though, yet the new Dave is still much better. The way he treats me and wants to spend time w/me is very good. I think he's funner to be around, I guess too. Sometimes I'm not sure about our relationship though and maybe we're moving too fast, but it's not like he's going to break my heart or anything anytime soon. He loves me too much, and he feels we're "meant to be". That's like so deep and I kinda feel it too, the way love works w/me is different though. I have my doubts, maybe b/c of my logical thinking, and I have those days when I feel like I hate myself and no one should be w/me b/c I know I'll just ruin the relationship, but when I'm w/Dave I feel all better again and at peace. He's really great. Well, enough of that.

D2 exp. pack will be coming out soon! Hell yes, I can't wait, it will rock! I need to buy some more fuckin' cds too, it sucks we're all like broke right now. I'm going to force my mom to take me sometime within the next week though, I don't care if I have to spend my own money, either. Guess I should be going to bed now. I'm like past the point of tiredness though, pretty awake still, but I know if I layed down I could fall asleep soon. Well see ya juggalos and nonjuggalos later!

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