going out w/Dave Thompson

Dave Thompson and I are going out again. I hope it goes better this time. I still feel weird. I believe him when he says that he did care about me all that time and that he just let his friends and drugs get in the way, but I'm still afraid of other things that we'll get us into lil' fights, or maybe big fights, who knows. I feel cautious about it right now.

So I went over to his house yesterday, he came to see me after school first while I was in the art room doing silkscreening. He didn't even talk to me while I was there. I told him I felt that was weird and he just said that he thought I was busy, which I understand, but no one seems to know how I am about guys. It's not like I'll do anything in the world even if it hurts me for them, but I want attention from my bfs when ever I can get it, I always welcome it. Unless I'm pissed. lol. But anyway... It's weird yet comforting to kiss him again. I got so use to Dave Schram's kissing, w/his wet soft lips, but I'll get into the groove again w/my Dave. We kissed maybe 4 times yesterday. I made him hard by biting his shoulder, it was funny. His friend Billy, his gf Ashley, and another friend Ted came over and we went over to Ashley's and smoked a joint w/her mom, ha, can u believe it?! I, Heather Riede, smoke a joint! And I want more. I finally fuckin' got some! Now I'm going to ask for some from everyone, HAHAHA! I want to be a fucked up pot head, I want to stumble around like a jackass. I know some of u out there reading this don't get it, but I need to feel the experience for me to feel like I've fufill my life. (i've never known how to spell that damn word and still don't, so someone please tell me.)