annoyance

Do loloooo, dololooooo.. I sing the song of the crazy people. The insane. Otherwise, known as Mike Hagar. Hahaha. He made that sound get in my head cuz he wouldn't stop doing it and then Drew Gordon was doing it. Those bastards.. Oh well.. Dololooooo.

Ha, anyway, I almost cried at lunch today, feeling trapped everywhere I went. I escaped from the freak table today, just to get away from Dave cuz I worry about him way too much anymore and I'm sick of it. I must detach myself from him. I'll never get all the attention I crave from him. He just doesn't get it. I didn't want to leave Steph. though but she doesn't talk to me during lunch much anyway. So I almost cried b/c when I went to be all safe w/my friends away from his pain, I found more pain as Drew kept staring at me, MAKING ME GO INSANE!! Ahhh, I wanted to throw my gym shoe at him and tell him to turn the fuck around. Just cuz I was there, he was listening to my fuckin' conversations w/Andy and Ruby about conformity and religion (oh how I miss the talk of educated people at lunch, hehe) and he was doing it by sitting to the side so he could kinda watch what I was doing out of the corner of my eye, trying not to make it obvious, but it was to me, and I couldn't stand it. If I sit there tomorrow I'm going to have to do sumthing. I've been giving him the cold shoulder today b/c he was being a dork trying to walk w/me and I know he already went to the choir room but saw me walk one way w/Ruby so when I came back he walked back out of the room in my direction and turned around when I came back and tried to walk w/me but I was disgusted, didn't talk, and blew him off by running up to Cassie and talking to her, forcing him to walk right by by his lonely self. Stupid ass trying to lie about his feelings for me. Now he went and ruined our whole relationship cuz now I don't think of him as cool anymore. I thought he found a sense of coolness, but he didn't. He's still a dork. I feel bad for him. I know I'm being harsh, but he puts extra stress on me by hanging around and I can't stand it anymore. He already made me cry, fuckin' ass! Get a life, I don't like u like that! Aghh! I hate love.

Still can't get ahold of Dave T. And he said he was in HIS ROOM 90% of the time, liar. He never is home when I call. And he's never called me back. I didn't bother calling Schram, he can go suck Heather's tits for all I care anymore. Prolly fucked her today, who knows. That bastard and his happiness. I'm not too depressed though. I got some things going for me. I'm happy in art. A new guy came into our class today too and he witnessed our crazyness. I don't think he minded it that much though. Ha.

I e-mailed my dad yesterday, begging for money. I need money. So broke, and I hate my clothes. I want my red contacts, fangs, and gothic hair... That's all.