things I'm obsessed with...

1. Dave

2. Marilyn Manson

3. Gothic clothing

4. Vampires

5. Weed

6. SEX!!!

7. Love <3

8. My flaws

Last night I stayed up til 2:00 watching the Marilyn Manson video Sophie let me borrow. I love it. I hope my excessive watching won't ruin it, lol. I was hoping maybe having him in my head so much I would dream about him and I did, later on that night. I dreamed I was staying w/him and the rest of the band in their house and I was a fan, but I was just chillin' w/them and keeping my cool. I was bored at one point, and came into Manson and Twiggy's room while they were doing stuff on the computer and asked if I can just hang out in there and Manson said sumthing like "Can't u busy urself w/sumthing else? We're busy" So even though I was hurt, I joked and said "Yeah, I think I'll go in the living room and sit on the couch and have a staring contest w/the wall for 2 hours. If u need me I'll be there." And they kinda laughed but got the point that I was being abandoned and hung out w/me later. They took us (I was w/my mom and Sophie I think) to the Deja Vu strip bar, but it was only for celeberties and it was a big open place, w/red curtains all the way around and a black marble floor in the shape of a circle, but it was 2 feet off the actual floor, so it was like a stage or sumthing, w/steps every so feet, square red tables w/4 stars at each and they were pretty close together. I had to get some to scoot in as I made my way to my table. Sophie (I think) and I chilled as Manson and Twiggy were getting drinks or sumthing, and then we all just sat around, but later we were sitting at separate tables and Twiggy wasn't there, but Pogo was I think and I went up to Manson and asked him if Twiggy still shaved his head. And he said "Well, yeah" kinda like he didn't like it either and I said "Well, not like I'm telling any of u what to do, but I think that looks shitty and he looked alot better w/bangs, so maybe u could tell him my opinion or sumthing" And that's about all that happened.

But later, I had a dream I was hanging around my house, wanting to get a hold of dave and when I was in my room I picked up the phone, and Dave was already on the line talking to some one (police authorities) saying "yeah, this is my spouse (or girl)" and I was confused and hung up, then it rang and I picked it up again and Dave said he had killed Sid, but instead of me being shocked or extremely upset, I was more like let down and said "Dave, how could u?" But I knew it was b/c he wanted to control me so I could only have him and not Sid, and I explained to him that wasn't the way and that he couldn't ever control what I do w/my life. I woke up and I thanked God it was just a dream b/c I don't want Sid to die, obviously, cuz I would be extremely upset, and if Dave did it, I don't think I'd ever talk to him again if he was that selfish to do such a thing as make Sid not exist anymore. But that's all...