i'm in an isolationist mood

Sometimes I like to be in my own little world. I'm watching the Manson video again. Sophie said I could keep it for as long as I want. It helps me w/my moods. I tried cutting myself again, and succeeded a lil' better than the first time, but still not really drawing blood, but it gets to the surface. I don't like the stinging pains much, but as I still feel them right now, it's not so bad. Only when I first do it. I can deal w/the after-feelings. I love Manson, I must see them in concert. I need to check their site again for tours, but I highly doubt I'll find anything.

My mood keeps changing the last two days (including today) w/DAve. During the day I'm excited to see him later on but then when I get home, things change and I just want to be alone. He's on his way over right now, a lot later than I thought I'd see him today which kinda pissed me off and he set me into an isolationist mood when he abandoned me by saying he'd call back in 10 min. and didn't for an hour +. Then when he did, he said he was waiting for Joe to come back to the hospital (where he was b/c his mom had her C-section today and it was a baby girl named Rachel Elizabeth) but that didn't happen for 2 hours, obviously. Btw, the baby was fine but was only 6 lbs. Dave was the first to officially hold her. I'm glad it's a girl. Well guess I'll go now.

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUBY! I LOVE U! Don't worry, I'll find a way to get you sumthing special!