shitty social situations

"Fuck u and the moon!... I'm still here, under the moon."-ICP

That song I can relate to about Dave and shit. Not that I ever tried to kill someone who tried to rape him, but it describes how I still think about him and how he just left me, w/o a care for me. I guess his fucking gf goes to our school now. Today she didn't have blonde hair though, but I'm pretty sure I saw them holding hands. It made me so angry, I want to go up to her and tell her to go fuck off and kill herself and then stab her in the chest w/my utility knife in my backpack. I hate her, and I hate him for parading her around, now she's going to know all the people I do. Atleast the freaky ones and I don't want them to be friends w/her. I already know David C. has talked to her and is cool w/her and I don't like that! This school is MY fucking territory. That fucking bitch doesn't need to come in here and automatically get friends! I can't stand that shit! Some people have it so fucking easy w/social situations. All cuz of Dave, fuck him. I hope they both suffer and I hope he shows what an ass he can be to her, and I hope he hurts her, and she fucking kills herself and then he'll be all alone again and pathetic like he really is inside. I fucking hate people.

On top of this, some girl tried to fucking talk to me yesterday in the 2nd half of 4th bell study hall, asked some stupid questions and tried to act like she's all about being goth, when she doesn't even know that I don't believe in being labeled and shit. At least, I'm not a label I mean. She also told me that she was Catholic too, which made me know that she wasn't like me at all. She tried to show me her stupid drawing too, which was very amatuer middle school shit, and then asked if I wanted it, and I said "No, that's ok, u keep it." Then she followed me to 5th bell study hall and asked if she could sit at our table. She was just one of those way too eager people that want to find friends, and those people disgust me, among a lot of other types of people. No one deserves to be easily accepted for the simple fact that I wasn't and still am not. I like it to be equal for everyone, and since my life is so shitty, I want everyone else's to be just as bad. That's just the resentful bitch that I am. But anyway, I replied to her, "Well, I don't know, I'm not even going to be here, so ask them." Then she asks me where I"m going and w/disgust I answered "Somewhere else." I wouldn't tell a stalker like that where I was going cuz she's definitely not going to follow me into the artroom, my only sanctuary in school, which is already not a sanctuary b/c Amanda McDonald is in it, and she's a fuckin' prep in freak clothes. So I left for the artroom, and told Ruby she should come too, cuz I didn't want her to have to deal w/that girl either, and Ruby soon came, and then that girl sat w/Brandi and Andy and they got annoyed by her all bell.

Today I accidently made eye contact w/her as I was walking out to lunch w/Nicki and told Nicki to hurry up cuz I was sure she would want to sit w/us now that she saw us, and then sure enough, I hear her saying behind me "Hey, hey, excuse me" a few times, and I tried to ignore her, but when I reached the line, she was like "Do u mind if I sit w/u at lunch?" And I said all low and irritated "No, I kinda like being alone." And that was it, and then I didn't see her in the 2nd half of 4th bell today, thank god, but I took precautions anyway, by taking all the extra chairs at our table and putting them back against the wall ontop of the other chairs. U might all think I'm crazy to be mean to a nice girl like that, but that's what people do to me. They force me to hate them w/their stupidity.

Here's a little quote for that damn Christian girl:

"God had called me and then stopped by, He told me ur gonna die, Unless u buy my holy water, Check, cash, or money order...It's only ten bucks for the call, and I'll send a prayer, no charge at all...Take ur paycheck and send me half And I'll send u God's autograph"-ICP